Social media has pushed the door to riding wide open. What once passed only from teacher to student, mouth to ear, is now a swipe away — the right saddle, the correct seat, a yard in some far-off county. The convenience is real. But once a door is open, the wind comes in too.
In the comments, there is always someone who "knows" better than you. Whichever platform you scroll, at home or abroad, a different voice will land on you. Some make you nod; some leave you unsettled in the saddle for a whole day.
My coach loves to share her riding online too, and she has her own thoughts on all of this. What follows brings her words together with mine — written for anyone who has ever doubted themselves over a single comment. On how to ride your own horse, even through the noise.
One · First, sort out which criticism is worth hearing
Not all criticism deserves your pause. The person pointing out the fault — do they know you? Your horse? Its state today, your state today? Is there anything in them you actually want to learn? When none of that is certain, I won't lightly fold a stranger's verdict into my training.
Useful advice brings you closer to the horse; baseless dismissal only pushes the two of you apart.
Learning to tell them apart is the first guardrail for your state of mind.
Two · Meeting it with stillness is its own grace
An impulsive reply only escalates things. People who casually belittle others usually lack both self-awareness and maturity; you can't have a healthy debate with them. Rather than step into the ring to win, settle yourself and let it pass, lightly — not as surrender, but as keeping a quiet for your own core. A horse fears a flustered rider most; so do people.
Three · Grow a thicker core
Real confidence grows from within. Reflect often, see clearly where you are and where you're headed, and your resilience slowly firms up. Riding asks for a little thick skin to begin with — you'll fall, you'll be corrected, you'll have days when no one believes in you. Build the capacity to take a knock first, and only then can you make the happiest kind of life alongside a horse.
Four · Be true to yourself
Loyalty to yourself is the root of everything. Set yourself a standard, accept who you are right now, and walk towards it a step at a time. The more genuine you are, the more you draw people truly on your wavelength, and the more your confidence finds its footing. On your own road, so long as you've given your best and are chasing a better self, that is enough — there's no need to live inside someone else's lens.
Five · Let kindness surround you
Weaving yourself a gentle net matters more than anything. Move towards those who understand you, who resonate with you, who are glad to cheer you on. There are so many fine riders in this world, so many remarkable women — walk towards them, and the toxic voices simply retreat from view.
The equestrian world can be hard. But hold on to yourself, and accept the kindness others hold out, and we'll ride past the judgement, towards somewhere wider.
